Define Your Core Values in 3 Steps
Since discovering the power of language in my own journey of self-development, I’ve come to the conclusion that identifying words and definitions that capture my core values is a foundational first step in personal and professional growth.
Want more of something? Feel like something is missing from your life? Feel like something is wrong/off/misaligned and you just can’t put your finger on it? If you have ever felt this way, chances are something in your life is in conflict with your core values.
So what are core values?
The principles inherent to you that guide your decisions
That gut feeling that lets you know what is right and wrong
Your deep rooted beliefs about what is important
Here’s an exercise that I do with each of my coaching clients to help them identify and define their core values.
Name your core values. I recommend identifying 4-6 words that are key for you. Articulate each in one word and define them for yourself (no googling/Webster’s Dictionary). Naming and defining your core values brings them to life in a way that allows you assess your current situation, frame your decision-making process, and get clear on what matters to you most. There are a number of ways to identify these words. You can start with a word bank (sign up here and I’ll send you one). If you go this route, first highlight the words that resonate with you, then add your own, and narrow down your favorites to 4-6 words. When I work one on one with clients I ask them to close their eyes and imagine a time in their life where they felt joy and were completely at ease. You can do this on your own. After a picturing this moment, write down what you saw, who you were with, what you were doing, the feelings you were experiencing, and anything else that came up for you. Looking at what you wrote, circle key words that resonate with you, add in any additional words that come to mind, and isolate 4-6 that stand out for you.
Display your core value words and definitions right in front of you so that you have easy access to them. You can post them on your computer monitor, keep them in your phone notes, or write them on the front page of your journal. The more familiar you are with these words and definitions the more you will use them be aware of them throughout your day.
Use your core value words as a tool to help you live a fulfilling life. One way to do this is to list each of your core values and then rate them on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest in terms of how much each core value is showing up in your life right now. You can then inquire, reflect, and develop actions to live in alignment with your core values. Examples of questions to ask yourself include:
What core values are the most/least present in my life right now? How is this impacting me and those around me?
For the core values that are the most present, how are they showing up in my life right now?
For the core values that are the least present, what can I do so that they do show up in my life right now?
Side notes:
The sooner you identify and define your core value words the better. If you think this will be a lengthy process, I challenge you to sit down, set a timer for 30 minutes, and get as far as you can in identifying the 4-6 words. The sooner you identify and define your core values, the sooner you can use them as guideposts for your life.
Your words can change. Core values don’t change over time but how these values show up in your life and what you call them might. I used to have a core value called “adventure.” Pre-kiddos, “adventure” involved a backpack and a one way ticket to somewhere off the beaten path. Since having kids, I’ve renamed “adventure” to “experience” which involves finding opportunities for me and my family to discover something that is new to us. Since my kids are little, any travel we do in the name of “experience” involves very full duffel bags, car seats, and hotel reservations.
Living in alignment with all of your core values all the time isn’t always possible. Sometimes it may feel like one or more of core values is hanging out in the background. What’s important is that you notice this and the impact is has on you. For example, there are some years when my core value of “experience” is seasonal (i.e summertime when the kids are out of school). I’ve learned if I’m feeling antsy or bored, it is probably because I am missing this core value and need to plan a day trip or check out something new in town.
If you have defined core value words, how do they help you, how do you use them?
If you haven’t done this before, what questions do you have?
Feel like sharing your core values and definitions? Send them along, I would love to read them!